Friday, October 1, 2010

States States States

Indiana, I am sorry, but seriously... WTF?  You are confusing.  You don't want to call your inhabitants Indians, so you make up a word?  Really?  That is plain pathetic.  Seriously.
.....It's just kinda sad.  You need some friends, Indiana.  And I won't be one of them!....Although I will concede that your costume is pretty awesome.

 Iowa, you do not have keen vision.  You were named after an Indian War Chief.  Get your stories right!  Maybe you should go make friends with Indiana, and he can tell you a little more about it, since he seems so interested in it.  Also, if you're the HAWKeye state, why does your flag have an Eagle on it? Hmmmm?  That is just silly.

 Kansas, if all you have to say for yourself is that you grow wheat, you should probably not say anything at all.  I'm sure you're filled with whole-grain cheerio-loving, beer-drinking, wheat bread eating freaks, but the rest of the world does not want to know. Seriously.  Get with the program.  Why not a name that plays homage to a certain famous quote?  The "No-Place-Like-Home State," or...
The Ruby Red Slipper State."  That last one would certainly be popular with your gay communities.  Maybe you should think about that.
Kentucky, Kentucky, Kentucky....I worry for you sometimes.  I am sorry, but despite the colorful name, there really is NO SUCH THINGS as BLUE grass.  Grass is green.  See, that's because grass is a plant, and (like most plants) it is filled with lots of GREEN chlorophyll!  I know it seems kind of crazy, but this means that grass is green.  ALL grass.  There is no freak mutant version of grass that is blue....even if you really wish there was because you are also a freak mutant of some sort.


  1. Is bluegrass not referring to a style of music? Maybe?

    I would be Indiana's friend...he's kind of cute ;)

  2. Actually, it refers to a specific breed of grass known primarily as "Kentucky Bluegrass"....I think it's stupid too.

  3. Thinking this weekend may be a good time to make a map of the US and check off states you've covered. Kinda like collecting US Quarters now, isn't it? ;)

  4. The name Kentucky Bluegrass derives from its flower heads, which are blue when the plant is allowed to grow to its natural height of two to three feet.[1]


    1. ^ What Makes Kentucky's Bluegrass Blue - New York Times — June 3, 1993

    As per wikipedia. So it was never really the grass portion of it that turned blue, but its in there somewhere.

  5. Howard - You crack me up. It won't be all that exciting keeping track, seeing as of how I have been doing them alphabetically (after doing the last four of them first). But definitely, it does have a certain je ne sais quoi about it that is very satisfying.

    Jim - Ahhh. I see. Well that makes more sense. Bust still...the grass itself isn't blue =p

  6. Hey Catherine, just finally getting a peek at your blog postings even though your Dad bragged about you a year or so ago when I found him on F/Book ... looks fun and very creative ... I'll have to "follow" you for awhile.

    ANYWAY, Indiana, the Hoosier State: I do have friends … maybe that was because I was actually born in Illinois, the firstborn child of your Great Aunt Muriel Turner Zilligen (your Grandma Dorothy's sister). I felt compelled to give you a Hoosier's definition of a Hoosier:

    A person born or living in Indiana;
    industrious, hospitable, down-home folk,
    who enjoys popcorn, Indian summers, race
    cars, and basketball.

    Now, that doesn’t sound so bad, does it?

    Nice getting to know you and your siblings a little better … gotta go check out sister’s blog … take care.