Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Job Hunt

I am graduating with a Bachelor of Science in Architecture on December 17th.  I have officially started the job hunt.

Writing a resume is HARD.  I am technically a salesperson (for wedding gowns), but it turns out, I'm not really comfortable at selling MYSELF.

It probably doesn't help that writing a resume makes me feel like an idiot..... Because my resume looked something like this when I started....

But something tells me that this won't help me get a job......

I think I should reconsider this whole job-hunt thing.  Maybe I should just blog every day, and starve.


But then I wouldn't be able to buy any chocolate.....

Wednesday, November 9, 2011


Dear Readers,

I am a loser.  This is why I have been ignoring you for so many months!  Here are the many things that have allowed me to distract myself from how terribly neglectful I have been to you.

Clearly, all of my time has been spoken for.

It's not that I don't love you..... I just don't love you more than chocolate.

Seriously, you guys never stood a chance.

And also money.  Money is good too.

I've been earning money at a bridal salon, where I work as a bridal consultant....and I have LOTS of hilarious stories about it....that I can't really tell you.  Because I do more than just sell wedding gowns at work.  I design lots of things.  I also write out new paperwork.  And I maintain their facebook.....and design business cards and brochures.....and paint murals on the wall.....and oh yeah!

I have a confession to make, dear readers.

Please don't be mad.

I'm cheating on you.

That's right.  I have.....another blog.  One that is updated regularly.   It's not funny.  It doesn't cover anything and everything that happens to come to my mind.

And no.  It doesn't have drawings.

I created, maintain, and write the blog for the company where I work.  For those of you getting married soon, you can check it out if you want.

......but the rest of you will find it boring as hell.  Sorry.

I hope your world doesn't explode with that revelation.

Also, I think the sock monster has been messing with my things again.

Although, it might just be my roommate.

Sorry for the disjointed, rambling post.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

GUEST POST: Tall Does Not Equal Basketball

Today, I'm proud to bring you a guest post written especially for me by The Tall One, who is the author of love and heartness.  I hope you all enjoy it!


If I had a nickel for every time someone asks, “Do you play basketball?” I would have been able to retire two years ago. It doesn’t help that I work with the public, so I get the question more often now.

I have a confession to make, and I can’t think of a better place to do it than on someone else’s blog. When I was 14, I tried out for the freshman girls basketball team. And I feel that Catherine and her wonderful readers will really appreciate the story behind it. Because I laugh every time I tell it.

It all started a few weeks before I started high school. I was feeling pretty confident in my basketball skills because I could get the ball into the hoop in my neighbors driveway. Obviously I was destined for greatness just from that.

The first day of try outs I went to the wrong gym. That should have been my first sign right there.

When I was finally in the right place, there were a few other girls I knew from elementary and middle school (I live in a small town) and was feeling really good. The coach was nice, the girls were cool, and HEY! I could actually keep up with them!

And then came the basketball part. I could hardly keep the ball in my hands and I had a zero percent chance of making any shots. Basically, I was awesome.

The second day of try-outs, the coach told the group that some of might just be considered “practice players” and not really play in the games. I knew that would be me, and I was really ok with it. I got to be a part of the team without totally embarrassing myself!

The third day of try-outs screwed me up. I caught a rebound and jammed my finger pretty hard. I had to get a little splint and everything. My under-developed mind was still really confident that I was going to make the team and be a school legend. My height would completely make up for my lack of actual skill.

After the third day, coach pulled me over and I thought she was going to tell me that I should go straight to varsity and practice play with them. Instead, her words sounded very wrong. Something about “lack of skill” and “really good try”. There may have even been a “maybe next year, after some practice”.

And just like that, I was cut from the basketball team. Three days into a five day try-out.

From time to time, the boy’s basketball coaches would stop me in the halls and ask why I wasn’t playing. And I was too embarrassed to admit I was awful, so I just told them I had to focus on school. Eventually I needed a new excuse, so I joined the cheerleading team.

Just kidding, it wasn’t for an excuse. I really did become a cheerleader. At one point, I was even co-captain for a year. Go me!

But the point of this story is that just because I’m tall does not mean I was destined to play basketball. I try to stay away from it more than anything, because I am more likely to get hurt than make any points.

My sister, on the other hand was a small town hero for her basketball skills. She’s probably still a hero for all her awesomeness on the court.

So instead of being engrossed in a sport, I was able to join the threatre department and really blossom. I should really thank her for taking the sports gene in the family; I’m sure it’s saved my poor parents from lots of hospital bills.

Sidenote: I just wanted to thank Catherine for being AWESOME and letting me do a guest post. She’s pretty ok in my book.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Sorry for My Silence

I don't have a whole lot to say today, and I'm not really in the right frame of mind to be funny for you guys.

Today, I took my dog, Sophie to the vet.  I took her to the vet, and I left her there to be put to sleep.  It was a very hard decision, and it was a very emotional experience for me.

Sophie was almost 11 years old, and I will never forget the joy and comfort she brought me during those 11 years.  She was the best dog I could ever ask for.

I have arranged to have two or three guest posts for the next few weeks, and will happily accept any other offers to write guest posts for my blog.  Until I feel like I can handle being silly, stupid, and funny, I will leave you guys to the guest posts I have arranged.  Hopefully I will be back on my game, and writing blog posts in two or three weeks.  Maybe even sooner.

If you'd like to know more about Sophie the Dog, or see some pictures of her, here are the blog posts where I mention her.  Some are focused on her entirely, and some just have her mentioned in passing.  Many of the have photos of her, and two of them have videos.

While you guys wait patiently for the guest posts I've lined up and new posts from me, I recommend checking out my favorite posts on this blog.  These posts are my personal favorites (in chronological order), and always make me laugh when I go back and read them.  Enjoy!

If you are looking for something else to read, I recommend these posts from Sister's blog.

Thanks to all of you, in advance, for your time, love, and support.  I hope to be back and better than ever soon!

Tuesday, January 11, 2011


Growing up, most girls have a BFF.  I was no exception.  I had LOTS of BFF's, and my list changed, and grew, as I grew up.

And then I hit college.  I found that my list of best friends shrank drastically.  This is when the real friends separate from the friends of convenience.  Today, I want to talk to you about one of my REAL friends.  I met her when I was in 4th grade.  She was Brother 1's friend's little sister....

Ashley says that she remembers when we met.  Apparently we met when she was hanging out with a friend, and that friend was Sister's friend's sister....I guess I was along to hang out with Sister's friend's sister, who was hanging out with Ashley.
Here is a Diagram to Explain that Slightly Confusing Relationship

I do not remember how we met.  I do not remember the first time I went to go play at her house.  But we had an instant connection, I tell you.  We still do.  Years later, she is still one of my closest friends (in spite of the 560 miles that lay between us geographically).

(Every friendship has a few rough spots, but that sure as heck didn't stop us!)
Ashley's home (and her family) are a second home to me.  I spent more hours there during my free time than I did in my own home.  Heck, if I could have had my way, I would have LIVED over there.  Because Ashley's house was awesome (even after they moved....twice.  All her houses were/are awesome.)

Reasons Ashley's House Rocked
  • Ashley had cable. I did not.  I would rush over there right after school, so we could catch our favorite TV show, which only played on cartoon network in the afternoon.  SAILOR MOON.  Seriously folks, we were obsessed.  After watching the show would spend hours playing Sailor Moon in her ginormous backyard.
We loved it because the heroes were girls in mini skirts, instead of boys in spandex!
  • Ashley only has 1 sibling....I have three.  Clearly Ashley's place was the preferable location for our carefree reenactments of our favorite animated shows.
  • Ashley's house had Eggo waffles!  I always had cereal for breakfast.  Ashley introduced me to the world that is Eggo Waffles for Breakfast.  A new obsession for me was born.  I still have two waffles for breakfast almost every morning....one with Skippy Creamy Peanut Butter on it, the other with I Can't Believe it's Not Butter (Spray), a product I was introduced to at her house.
  • Ashley had a swingset.  I had a pool.   This may seem like I had the better backyard in this case, but you would be wrong.  Ashley's backyard was HUGE, and completely unoccupied by anybody but us.  My backyard was normal-sized, and it was filled with a pool that was constantly occupied in the summer, and freezing in the winter.  My only grassy refuge of playtime was the cul-de-sac in the front yard.  That was far too public for our tastes.  In this case, rare as it is, swingset > pool.
  • Ashley had all the best Barbie clothes.  Rather than moving all the clothes and barbies to me, I moved my two or three barbies to her.  Much simpler!
Honestly, though, the biggest reason that Ashley's house was awesome, was because it had Ashley in it.  Also, her Mom is totally badass! =)  Really....the proximity of Ashley to a location is directly proportional to its awesomeness....just like it is with unicorns!

Just like the between most young girls, our friendship was not without its problems.  Firstly, we always secretly felt the desire to compete with each other.  When we played make-believe, her characters were always the main characters.  The damsel in the distress was always the most fun to play.  My characters were never the lead, never the damsel, and rarely the TRUE hero....but I tried to compensate by over developing their few traits, exaggerating their flaws and desires to the point of stupidity....of course, to my 10-year-old mind, they weren't overdone, they were just awesome.

Honestly, Ashley and I love each other to death, but back then, we also probably secretly wished to be each other.  Here are two lists to prove it!

Reasons I Wanted to be Ashley
  • Her hair is awesome.  Always has been, always will be.  It was long, and sleek, and smooth, and soft, and straight, and blonde.  MY hair was a nasty muddy brown that frizzed and curled and refused to cooperate no matter how long I spent trying to coax it to behave in an even slightly manageable fashion.

  • Ashley had her own room.  I shared mine with Sister.  Enough said.
  • Ashley had WAY cooler clothes.  I was stuck with hand-me-downs, not from Sister (as you might expect), but from Brother 1.  This is because I was not shaped like Sister.  I was shaped like my taller, older, skinny brother.  So I wore BROTHER'S old jeans, and Brother's old t-shirts, completely missing out on Sister's feminine clothes.  ASHLEY, as the only daughter, had all new clothes, just for her.  No hand-me-downs there!
  • Ashley was always a passionate kid when she was growing up.  When she did something, she really threw everything she had into it.  I was always far too scatter brained, and far too easily distracted as a child to really commit to any one task at a time.  Truth be told, I am still very scatter-brained.  Sometimes I even lose my sunglasses, only to discover that they had been sitting on my head for hours!

    Reasons Ashley Wanted to be Me
    • I had a private pool in my backyard.  While I would have preferred the big yard of grass, and we spent most of our time there, I think she secretly wanted to be me because I had access to a pool that we both felt comfortable playing in, just like we played in her backyard.  We would pretend we were mermaids, and tie things around our hips, pretending that our legs were fins.  At the public pool, we had to share our space with other kids, and trying to "be cool" while pretending to be mermaids was an exceedingly difficult task.  At my pool, it was Ashley, me, and more water than we knew what to do with.

    • My kitchen was far better equipped with junk food.  While I did not have the waffles I loved so much at home, I did have bowls of candy, bags of chips, unlimited access to soda, and parents that had long since given up trying to exert even the slightest control on what I ate.
    • Ashley has beautiful dark brown eyes.  It's really cool because her eyes are SO dark for a girl with blonde hair.  This was not good enough for Ashley.  Ashley wanted MY eyes.  Because mine are green.  While I admit that I wouldn't want to change eye color, I can't imagine why she ever had issues with the color of her own.  It's exotic looking.  Also, Brown matches with more things than Green does.....Just saying.  Brown is a NEUTRAL.  Green is NOT.
    • Secretly, I always thought Ashley wanted to be me, because I am just that awesome.  But I think we all know this is silly.  Because see, there are only four reasons she wants to be me, and there are.....um.....four reasons I want to be her.....so....yeah.  We are at least equally awesome! 
    We were both jealous of each other, but we loved each other to death nonetheless.

    Ashley was born the same year I was, but she is 7 months older than me.  This means that she is also one grade above me in school.  When I was in 4th grade, she was in 5th grade.  We never got to have classes together....but we did get recess together sometimes!......Er.....At least I think we did.

    Everything was awesome, and really cool until....Ashley started going to a different school.  Not just because she got into middle school a year before me.  No.  Ashley went to a different middle school, AND a different high school, AND a different college.  This totally sucked!  Preteen/Teenage girls want to have classes with their best friend!  And we didn't.  It was not cool, people.  NOT cool.

    Lunch time could have been like this:

    But alas, it was never to be. =(   Instead, we sat at our lunch tables, in different schools, without the company of each other, wondering what the other was doing.  I think there might have even been crying.  Because, I mean, who WOULDN'T cry when they missed lunch with me?

    Now we are both grown-up.  We are both adults, and we're still the best of friends.  We work together on projects sometimes (art, writing, music, etc), we talk whenever we can on aol instant messenger and/or facebook chat.  We encourage and advise each other when we hit rough spots in our lives.

    I have done my best to be honest, and even serious, about my friendship with Ashley, while still injecting a bit of humor into the story.  However, there is nothing funny about what I'm about to say.

    Ashley has been a blessing in my life.  We have helped each other learn and grow, developing as human beings.  I would not be who I am today, if not for her.  I will close today's post with a special thought just for her.

    Also, thanks for putting up with my craziness for so many years!
    Also, all my dear readers, you can check out Ashley's new blog here!  Her blog is called Glimpses of Coruscation, and it is hilarious! =)

    More Presents!!!

    Another one of my blogger friends sent me a present!  You guys are all truly awesome!!!

    Chrissy from Creative Blog Title drew me a picture of me with a unicorn!  Thanks for the belated birthday present!!!
    I love that the Unicorn's hair is my favorite color!!!! =)
    Also, I will be putting up a long post I've been working on in the near future (possibly even tonight!).

    Oh, I am working on getting a few guest posts lined up!  Thanks to everyone that has emailed or commented offering to do a guest post for me!  Can't wait to see how they turn out! =)

    Sunday, January 9, 2011

    The Wide World of Wedding Gowns

    I have a job.  I didn't have a job last semester....or last summer.  Actually, it's been a long time since I've had a job.  But I have one now.  This is because now I have bills to pay.  This was not always the case.  Anyways, the reasons that I am supporting myself now are a story for another day.

    Today, I would like to talk about my job as a Consultant in a Bridal Shop.

    I sell wedding gowns. This may sound like a less-than-difficult task.  I knew from hours watching TLC's Say Yes to the Dress that it is a difficult job, in spite of what I might think from first glance.  It is far more difficult than I expected, even prepared as I was.  These difficulties are also a story for another day.

    Instead, today I will talk about some of the parts of this job that I didn't expect.  Because this job was not what I was expecting!

    Things About my Job that are Surprising

    1) I spend the largest amount of time at my job helping girls put on wedding dresses, and taking them off.  This was not surprising.  The thing that surprised me is the number of women that will take off their shirt and bra without a second thought while I am there to assist them in dressing.  I have seen lots of boobs.  LOTS of boobs.  Of all sizes and levels of perkiness.  The sheer quantity of boobs I have seen since I started working as a bridal consultant is staggering.  Truly.  Staggering.

    At first, I was surprised.

    And then it happened again....

    And again....

    Until finally, I stopped noticing.  I stopped caring.  Now I wonder how boobs could ever have been considered sexual in nature.  They have become that much a part of my daily life.

    2) I knew that I would be dressing girls.  I didn't realize how many of the dresses I would be working with have corset-backs.  They look like this:

    I tie more of these in a typical day than preschool teachers tie shoe laces!

    3) Apparently, nobody has any idea what constitutes appropriate undergarments when another person is going to be dressing them.

    Please don't wear your sexy lingerie!

    Black undergarments + White dress = FAIL

    Save the thongs for your dress pants.  I have no desire to see your buttocks.

    I'm only going to say this ONCE people!  Wear nude-colored undergarments, and a STRAPLESS bra!  it is not that hard!
    Congratulations, You are not a Whore!

    4) Apparently, some people think that $200 is enough money to buy a beautiful wedding gown that is BRAND NEW and completely undamaged.  You can't even manage that at (blugh) David's Bridal!  News flash, if you want anything on your dress AT ALL, expect to spend at LEAST $600.  If you spend less on one month's rent, you aren't spending enough!

    ....Also, I had more stuff to say about my job.  But I am bored of blogging now.  Also, I want to post this now.  So Viola.

    Also, if you missed my last post, don't forget to read and comment on that one too!