Thursday, January 20, 2011

GUEST POST: Tall Does Not Equal Basketball

Today, I'm proud to bring you a guest post written especially for me by The Tall One, who is the author of love and heartness.  I hope you all enjoy it!


If I had a nickel for every time someone asks, “Do you play basketball?” I would have been able to retire two years ago. It doesn’t help that I work with the public, so I get the question more often now.

I have a confession to make, and I can’t think of a better place to do it than on someone else’s blog. When I was 14, I tried out for the freshman girls basketball team. And I feel that Catherine and her wonderful readers will really appreciate the story behind it. Because I laugh every time I tell it.

It all started a few weeks before I started high school. I was feeling pretty confident in my basketball skills because I could get the ball into the hoop in my neighbors driveway. Obviously I was destined for greatness just from that.

The first day of try outs I went to the wrong gym. That should have been my first sign right there.

When I was finally in the right place, there were a few other girls I knew from elementary and middle school (I live in a small town) and was feeling really good. The coach was nice, the girls were cool, and HEY! I could actually keep up with them!

And then came the basketball part. I could hardly keep the ball in my hands and I had a zero percent chance of making any shots. Basically, I was awesome.

The second day of try-outs, the coach told the group that some of might just be considered “practice players” and not really play in the games. I knew that would be me, and I was really ok with it. I got to be a part of the team without totally embarrassing myself!

The third day of try-outs screwed me up. I caught a rebound and jammed my finger pretty hard. I had to get a little splint and everything. My under-developed mind was still really confident that I was going to make the team and be a school legend. My height would completely make up for my lack of actual skill.

After the third day, coach pulled me over and I thought she was going to tell me that I should go straight to varsity and practice play with them. Instead, her words sounded very wrong. Something about “lack of skill” and “really good try”. There may have even been a “maybe next year, after some practice”.

And just like that, I was cut from the basketball team. Three days into a five day try-out.

From time to time, the boy’s basketball coaches would stop me in the halls and ask why I wasn’t playing. And I was too embarrassed to admit I was awful, so I just told them I had to focus on school. Eventually I needed a new excuse, so I joined the cheerleading team.

Just kidding, it wasn’t for an excuse. I really did become a cheerleader. At one point, I was even co-captain for a year. Go me!

But the point of this story is that just because I’m tall does not mean I was destined to play basketball. I try to stay away from it more than anything, because I am more likely to get hurt than make any points.

My sister, on the other hand was a small town hero for her basketball skills. She’s probably still a hero for all her awesomeness on the court.

So instead of being engrossed in a sport, I was able to join the threatre department and really blossom. I should really thank her for taking the sports gene in the family; I’m sure it’s saved my poor parents from lots of hospital bills.

Sidenote: I just wanted to thank Catherine for being AWESOME and letting me do a guest post. She’s pretty ok in my book.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Sorry for My Silence

I don't have a whole lot to say today, and I'm not really in the right frame of mind to be funny for you guys.

Today, I took my dog, Sophie to the vet.  I took her to the vet, and I left her there to be put to sleep.  It was a very hard decision, and it was a very emotional experience for me.

Sophie was almost 11 years old, and I will never forget the joy and comfort she brought me during those 11 years.  She was the best dog I could ever ask for.

I have arranged to have two or three guest posts for the next few weeks, and will happily accept any other offers to write guest posts for my blog.  Until I feel like I can handle being silly, stupid, and funny, I will leave you guys to the guest posts I have arranged.  Hopefully I will be back on my game, and writing blog posts in two or three weeks.  Maybe even sooner.

If you'd like to know more about Sophie the Dog, or see some pictures of her, here are the blog posts where I mention her.  Some are focused on her entirely, and some just have her mentioned in passing.  Many of the have photos of her, and two of them have videos.

While you guys wait patiently for the guest posts I've lined up and new posts from me, I recommend checking out my favorite posts on this blog.  These posts are my personal favorites (in chronological order), and always make me laugh when I go back and read them.  Enjoy!

If you are looking for something else to read, I recommend these posts from Sister's blog.

Thanks to all of you, in advance, for your time, love, and support.  I hope to be back and better than ever soon!

Tuesday, January 11, 2011


Growing up, most girls have a BFF.  I was no exception.  I had LOTS of BFF's, and my list changed, and grew, as I grew up.

And then I hit college.  I found that my list of best friends shrank drastically.  This is when the real friends separate from the friends of convenience.  Today, I want to talk to you about one of my REAL friends.  I met her when I was in 4th grade.  She was Brother 1's friend's little sister....

Ashley says that she remembers when we met.  Apparently we met when she was hanging out with a friend, and that friend was Sister's friend's sister....I guess I was along to hang out with Sister's friend's sister, who was hanging out with Ashley.
Here is a Diagram to Explain that Slightly Confusing Relationship

I do not remember how we met.  I do not remember the first time I went to go play at her house.  But we had an instant connection, I tell you.  We still do.  Years later, she is still one of my closest friends (in spite of the 560 miles that lay between us geographically).

(Every friendship has a few rough spots, but that sure as heck didn't stop us!)
Ashley's home (and her family) are a second home to me.  I spent more hours there during my free time than I did in my own home.  Heck, if I could have had my way, I would have LIVED over there.  Because Ashley's house was awesome (even after they moved....twice.  All her houses were/are awesome.)

Reasons Ashley's House Rocked
  • Ashley had cable. I did not.  I would rush over there right after school, so we could catch our favorite TV show, which only played on cartoon network in the afternoon.  SAILOR MOON.  Seriously folks, we were obsessed.  After watching the show would spend hours playing Sailor Moon in her ginormous backyard.
We loved it because the heroes were girls in mini skirts, instead of boys in spandex!
  • Ashley only has 1 sibling....I have three.  Clearly Ashley's place was the preferable location for our carefree reenactments of our favorite animated shows.
  • Ashley's house had Eggo waffles!  I always had cereal for breakfast.  Ashley introduced me to the world that is Eggo Waffles for Breakfast.  A new obsession for me was born.  I still have two waffles for breakfast almost every with Skippy Creamy Peanut Butter on it, the other with I Can't Believe it's Not Butter (Spray), a product I was introduced to at her house.
  • Ashley had a swingset.  I had a pool.   This may seem like I had the better backyard in this case, but you would be wrong.  Ashley's backyard was HUGE, and completely unoccupied by anybody but us.  My backyard was normal-sized, and it was filled with a pool that was constantly occupied in the summer, and freezing in the winter.  My only grassy refuge of playtime was the cul-de-sac in the front yard.  That was far too public for our tastes.  In this case, rare as it is, swingset > pool.
  • Ashley had all the best Barbie clothes.  Rather than moving all the clothes and barbies to me, I moved my two or three barbies to her.  Much simpler!
Honestly, though, the biggest reason that Ashley's house was awesome, was because it had Ashley in it.  Also, her Mom is totally badass! =)  Really....the proximity of Ashley to a location is directly proportional to its awesomeness....just like it is with unicorns!

Just like the between most young girls, our friendship was not without its problems.  Firstly, we always secretly felt the desire to compete with each other.  When we played make-believe, her characters were always the main characters.  The damsel in the distress was always the most fun to play.  My characters were never the lead, never the damsel, and rarely the TRUE hero....but I tried to compensate by over developing their few traits, exaggerating their flaws and desires to the point of stupidity....of course, to my 10-year-old mind, they weren't overdone, they were just awesome.

Honestly, Ashley and I love each other to death, but back then, we also probably secretly wished to be each other.  Here are two lists to prove it!

Reasons I Wanted to be Ashley
  • Her hair is awesome.  Always has been, always will be.  It was long, and sleek, and smooth, and soft, and straight, and blonde.  MY hair was a nasty muddy brown that frizzed and curled and refused to cooperate no matter how long I spent trying to coax it to behave in an even slightly manageable fashion.

  • Ashley had her own room.  I shared mine with Sister.  Enough said.
  • Ashley had WAY cooler clothes.  I was stuck with hand-me-downs, not from Sister (as you might expect), but from Brother 1.  This is because I was not shaped like Sister.  I was shaped like my taller, older, skinny brother.  So I wore BROTHER'S old jeans, and Brother's old t-shirts, completely missing out on Sister's feminine clothes.  ASHLEY, as the only daughter, had all new clothes, just for her.  No hand-me-downs there!
  • Ashley was always a passionate kid when she was growing up.  When she did something, she really threw everything she had into it.  I was always far too scatter brained, and far too easily distracted as a child to really commit to any one task at a time.  Truth be told, I am still very scatter-brained.  Sometimes I even lose my sunglasses, only to discover that they had been sitting on my head for hours!

    Reasons Ashley Wanted to be Me
    • I had a private pool in my backyard.  While I would have preferred the big yard of grass, and we spent most of our time there, I think she secretly wanted to be me because I had access to a pool that we both felt comfortable playing in, just like we played in her backyard.  We would pretend we were mermaids, and tie things around our hips, pretending that our legs were fins.  At the public pool, we had to share our space with other kids, and trying to "be cool" while pretending to be mermaids was an exceedingly difficult task.  At my pool, it was Ashley, me, and more water than we knew what to do with.

    • My kitchen was far better equipped with junk food.  While I did not have the waffles I loved so much at home, I did have bowls of candy, bags of chips, unlimited access to soda, and parents that had long since given up trying to exert even the slightest control on what I ate.
    • Ashley has beautiful dark brown eyes.  It's really cool because her eyes are SO dark for a girl with blonde hair.  This was not good enough for Ashley.  Ashley wanted MY eyes.  Because mine are green.  While I admit that I wouldn't want to change eye color, I can't imagine why she ever had issues with the color of her own.  It's exotic looking.  Also, Brown matches with more things than Green does.....Just saying.  Brown is a NEUTRAL.  Green is NOT.
    • Secretly, I always thought Ashley wanted to be me, because I am just that awesome.  But I think we all know this is silly.  Because see, there are only four reasons she wants to be me, and there reasons I want to be  We are at least equally awesome! 
    We were both jealous of each other, but we loved each other to death nonetheless.

    Ashley was born the same year I was, but she is 7 months older than me.  This means that she is also one grade above me in school.  When I was in 4th grade, she was in 5th grade.  We never got to have classes together....but we did get recess together sometimes!......Er.....At least I think we did.

    Everything was awesome, and really cool until....Ashley started going to a different school.  Not just because she got into middle school a year before me.  No.  Ashley went to a different middle school, AND a different high school, AND a different college.  This totally sucked!  Preteen/Teenage girls want to have classes with their best friend!  And we didn't.  It was not cool, people.  NOT cool.

    Lunch time could have been like this:

    But alas, it was never to be. =(   Instead, we sat at our lunch tables, in different schools, without the company of each other, wondering what the other was doing.  I think there might have even been crying.  Because, I mean, who WOULDN'T cry when they missed lunch with me?

    Now we are both grown-up.  We are both adults, and we're still the best of friends.  We work together on projects sometimes (art, writing, music, etc), we talk whenever we can on aol instant messenger and/or facebook chat.  We encourage and advise each other when we hit rough spots in our lives.

    I have done my best to be honest, and even serious, about my friendship with Ashley, while still injecting a bit of humor into the story.  However, there is nothing funny about what I'm about to say.

    Ashley has been a blessing in my life.  We have helped each other learn and grow, developing as human beings.  I would not be who I am today, if not for her.  I will close today's post with a special thought just for her.

    Also, thanks for putting up with my craziness for so many years!
    Also, all my dear readers, you can check out Ashley's new blog here!  Her blog is called Glimpses of Coruscation, and it is hilarious! =)

    More Presents!!!

    Another one of my blogger friends sent me a present!  You guys are all truly awesome!!!

    Chrissy from Creative Blog Title drew me a picture of me with a unicorn!  Thanks for the belated birthday present!!!
    I love that the Unicorn's hair is my favorite color!!!! =)
    Also, I will be putting up a long post I've been working on in the near future (possibly even tonight!).

    Oh, I am working on getting a few guest posts lined up!  Thanks to everyone that has emailed or commented offering to do a guest post for me!  Can't wait to see how they turn out! =)

    Sunday, January 9, 2011

    The Wide World of Wedding Gowns

    I have a job.  I didn't have a job last semester....or last summer.  Actually, it's been a long time since I've had a job.  But I have one now.  This is because now I have bills to pay.  This was not always the case.  Anyways, the reasons that I am supporting myself now are a story for another day.

    Today, I would like to talk about my job as a Consultant in a Bridal Shop.

    I sell wedding gowns. This may sound like a less-than-difficult task.  I knew from hours watching TLC's Say Yes to the Dress that it is a difficult job, in spite of what I might think from first glance.  It is far more difficult than I expected, even prepared as I was.  These difficulties are also a story for another day.

    Instead, today I will talk about some of the parts of this job that I didn't expect.  Because this job was not what I was expecting!

    Things About my Job that are Surprising

    1) I spend the largest amount of time at my job helping girls put on wedding dresses, and taking them off.  This was not surprising.  The thing that surprised me is the number of women that will take off their shirt and bra without a second thought while I am there to assist them in dressing.  I have seen lots of boobs.  LOTS of boobs.  Of all sizes and levels of perkiness.  The sheer quantity of boobs I have seen since I started working as a bridal consultant is staggering.  Truly.  Staggering.

    At first, I was surprised.

    And then it happened again....

    And again....

    Until finally, I stopped noticing.  I stopped caring.  Now I wonder how boobs could ever have been considered sexual in nature.  They have become that much a part of my daily life.

    2) I knew that I would be dressing girls.  I didn't realize how many of the dresses I would be working with have corset-backs.  They look like this:

    I tie more of these in a typical day than preschool teachers tie shoe laces!

    3) Apparently, nobody has any idea what constitutes appropriate undergarments when another person is going to be dressing them.

    Please don't wear your sexy lingerie!

    Black undergarments + White dress = FAIL

    Save the thongs for your dress pants.  I have no desire to see your buttocks.

    I'm only going to say this ONCE people!  Wear nude-colored undergarments, and a STRAPLESS bra!  it is not that hard!
    Congratulations, You are not a Whore!

    4) Apparently, some people think that $200 is enough money to buy a beautiful wedding gown that is BRAND NEW and completely undamaged.  You can't even manage that at (blugh) David's Bridal!  News flash, if you want anything on your dress AT ALL, expect to spend at LEAST $600.  If you spend less on one month's rent, you aren't spending enough!

    ....Also, I had more stuff to say about my job.  But I am bored of blogging now.  Also, I want to post this now.  So Viola.

    Also, if you missed my last post, don't forget to read and comment on that one too!

    Saturday, January 8, 2011

    That's Right Folks, I Really Am That Awesome!

    I know it has been a few days since I posted.  Get used to it folks.  I have a full-time job now.  Also, I'm taking a class.  I don't have time for daily posts anymore.  I'm sorry.

    Anyways, I am here with you today, to say that I am awesome!  See me fancy new background?  Guess what?

    I made it myself.   That's right, folks.  I'm a REAL artist too! 

    Like Van Gogh, but better!
     I made my background, and my new banner!  I'll be changing my badge in the very near future to match my new updated look!  Also, I will probably add a favicon like Sister did (cause I'm a computer whiz too!).  But that is for another day.

    I've also been busy making a background, a banner, and a badge for my very close friend who recently started a blog of her own!  You can see her blog here, or just click the badge in my sidebar!

    Also, I want to take some time to give a very special thank you to a new blogger friend that sent me a present!

    Here is the present he gave me.  The rest of you folks have some catching up to do!
    And I have, of course, already shown you all the present I got from Kaloo, over at Chicken Maker!

    This is as awesome as it gets, folks.

    You might remember him from an early post I wrote about our fated friendship. In light of the recent presents I have received, I have added a brand new page to the top of my blog there, titled "Gifts."  You send me a present, and I will put it there to share with the world!  Also, I will link back to you there for giving me such a nice present! ^_^

    I was planning on doing a longer, funnier post today.....but that banner took FOREVER to finish up.  Also, it took a long time to get the background to work when I tile it vertically....

    So I guess that is it for today.  I will start working on another post tonight (hopefully to go up tomorrow).....and it will be good.  I promise!

    Also, anyone that wants to do a guest post for me (including you two awesome people that offered in the comments of my latest post), go ahead and write one up, and send it my way!  Remember, my e-mail is

    I know, another reused picture, but it's better than nothing, right?

    In addition, I would like to remind all my lovely readers that I will happily work with you to make blog backgrounds, banners, and badges for you if you ask nicely!

    Because I am just that awesome.....and generous.

    Tune in next time for a wonderfully amusing story about growing up with my very best friend......or about my new job selling wedding gowns......Whichever I feel like doing. =)

    Tuesday, January 4, 2011

    A Letter to My Readers

    Dear Readers,

    I've got a problem with you.  Yes.  YOU.

    "What is the problem?" You might be asking.  "What have I done wrong?"  Well let me tell you, there are LOTS of things you have done wrong, but more specifically, there are at least SEVEN things that you have done wrong in regards to my blog.  That's right. SEVEN.

    And SEVEN is apparently very angry with you!

    You must really be sucking right now.

    Really, you should know what you've done wrong.  If you don't know, then I'M not going to tell you!

    ......Okay, you convinced me.

    FIRST, dear readers, you allowed me to ignore my blog!  For more than a WHOLE MONTH.  That's like infinity in the the blog world!

    I just drew infinity for you.  I know.  It's mind boggling!
    Basically, you all let me ignore you.  I didn't get any emails.....

    Seriously, I couldn't make it any easier for you!
    I didn't get any Requests.  I didn't get any shout outs from other blogs (except one or two from Sister, but I think we all know that she was just giving me a shout out so she wouldn't feel guilty about stealing my picture).  Apparently, none of you love me as much as I love you.

    Thanks.  I feel really special.

    And I used to think we were friends!

    SECOND, I didn't get any awards in my absence.  What is wrong with you people?  There is no reason for not giving awards.....especially to me!  Really.....even a borrowed AWESOME medal would do.....
    Image "borrowed" from Sister
    Just saying.  I'm pretty awesome.  Also, I am disappointed in all of you, dear readers, because none of you have recognized my awesomeness with shiny round pieces of metal on colored ribbons and/or award badges that link back to your blog.  Hey, it's publicity for you, AND for me.

    Actually, maybe I will make an award of my own.  Yeah.  And I won't give it to any of you.  So THERE! Maybe then you will know how I feel.

    THIRD, Dear Readers, You have not been clicking on my ads.  I am saddened by this.  Not only can I not (legally) admonish you for this, but it also means I do not make money.  This is very sad.

    ......the upside of this for you is that I've decided to remove them......Earning 2 dollars over the course of three months is just not good enough to be worth having the ads.

    Lucky you.

    FOURTH, I have not received any presents.  Except from Chicken Maker.  He is awesome.  Just look at what he gave me!

    Gritty Sharp Chicken
    The rest of you are seriously lacking in your present-giving capacities.  I'm sure you can push through your present-giving drought, and start and maintain a steady present-giving stream of AWESOMENESS.

    FIFTH,  You all missed my birthday.  Even after I let you guys all know what things make GREAT PRESENTS FOR GIRLS.  In case you are not sure what would have made an excellent present for me, here is a hint:

    Everyone loves unicorns.  Even boys.  They just don't want to admit it.

    SIXTH,  I told you all that I was going to be sparse to nonexistent for awhile, because of real life things demanding my time and attention.  This is why I asked if any of you were interested or willing to do a guest post for me.

    I had no such luck.  There was one bite, but that ended up falling through.  I am ashamed of you all.  You could have used the opportunity to steal some of my readers or followers, publicize your blog, and try your own hand at MS Paint (or it's Apple equivalent).  Seriously, people, I was totally swamped with things to do!

    Remember this drawing?  I wasn't kidding about this stuff!
    Lucky for all of you, I have completed my resume, finished compiling my portfolio, found a job, completed the interview project, wrote the 10 page paper (and received an A, if anyone is wondering), and have had a successful start on my diet (16 pounds lost, 26 to go!).  I have also started working, taken my exams, finished the semester, scrounged together enough money to buy christmas presents for everyone in my really big family, and had my mom come to visit.

    Oh yeah, and my roommate left, we moved things into his old room, making it into a reading/music room, rearranged the living room, bought some new furniture, celebrated my birthday, christmas, and new year's eve.....all this with school, work, and time spent with my dog, my fiance, and my friends as well.

    I have been BUSY.

    Shame on all of you for not relieving me of some stress, and taking on a bit of picture blogging on your own.

    Just saying.  Could have used some help.

    LAST, but not least,  I have not received any e-mails with questions.  This is sad because my FAQ has remained unchanged since the day I wrote it.

    I am saddened by your lack of curiosity, Dear Readers.

    Anyways, I am back, and blogging like a maniac once again!  But I will not keep up a daily posting schedule.  That is too much to do, what with school, and work, and cooking, and budgeting, and video games, and reading, and piano, and stuff..... Plus I'm not very good at staying focused.  Really.

    But maybe that will get better now that I've officially been diagnosed with ADD, and been given medication to help address the problem.

    I guess we'll find out together!

    Also, we need to pool together and get some more followers, folks!  SISTER has more followers than me!  We need to change this!  Because apparently our blogging is a competition.  And it makes me feel good.


    Seen and Said

    P.S.  I'm just giving you guys a hard time.  I really do love and appreciate each and every one of you.  Especially those of you who take the time to let me know how much you did or didn't like my posts!

    P.P.S.  Also, I completely redid my background, banner, and buttons.  I hope you all like it!  I think it's less overwhelming this way....and also less....caustically bright.