Things I Can't Stand About Women

I have always seemed to get along well with men better than with women. To this day, most of my casual friends are men. I'll admit that my closest friends are female, but MOST of my friends are male. And there is a good reason for this. A very good reason.

...LOTS of very good reasons, actually.

But basically, it is because women piss me off. Don't pretend like they don't piss you off too. I know what you're going to say. "But, Catherine, YOU are a woman. How can you say that they all piss you off?" It's true. I am a woman. But that doesn't mean I have to LIKE other women! And honestly, part of the reason that I choose to REMAIN a female (because let's be honest, nowadays you can choose to be whatever gender you want) is because frankly, it's better than the alternative. I like men more than women, that does not mean I want to BE a man.

But I digress. The fact remains that I can't stand other girls. Here are just SOME of the things that most women do that I hate.

1) Women can't decide what to wear. They often try on 10 or more outfits that they have worn before (and know how they look) before settling on the first thing they put on. Make up your mind already! I don't have time for your indecision, woman! Stop wasting an hour of MY day so that YOU can feel pretty enough to go out in public! Also, putting on an outfit for 5 seconds before dropping it in the pile of clothes you bought that aren't good enough does not qualify them as dirty. Hang them back up. Don't just let them sit there for a few days and then throw them in the washer, even if they don't really need it!



2) Girls wear make-up. While the make-up itself isn't really a big deal, I can't stand the behavior patterns that result from this. Like how girls will crowd around the only mirror in the entire building, pretending like they aren't elbowing each other out of the way, just to get another glimpse at themselves and enough face time to reapply make-up that, as far as I can tell, doesn't need to be reapplied. It's like they're brainless, drooling, zombies that can't help but be transfixed by their own appearance. It's like moths to a flame. Except worse.



3) The unusual desire to carry over-sized rats in their purses. Seriously, get a real dog. And stop carrying them with you everywhere. There are better ways to work out than lugging around 8 pounds of furry, scrawny, shaking, yippy, rat-dog in "cute" clothes. You scare me.



4) Every single little bad thing that happens is the end of the world. Girls are drama queens, and they KNOW it! Even if they won't admit it! Don't be fooled, people. Every little thing ruins our day!

Bad hair day?



Broke a nail?



Paper cut?



Lost a job?



Boyfriend cheated?



Family member died?



Hurricane destroys home and life prospects?



Diagnosed with a fatal disease?



Zombie Apocalypse?



Get a grip already! Seriously! The world is not going to explode just because you feel like you're going to explode! Slap a band-aid on it, and move on!



....And that is all for now. Talk to you all tomorrow =)