Tuesday, January 4, 2011

A Letter to My Readers

Dear Readers,

I've got a problem with you.  Yes.  YOU.

"What is the problem?" You might be asking.  "What have I done wrong?"  Well let me tell you, there are LOTS of things you have done wrong, but more specifically, there are at least SEVEN things that you have done wrong in regards to my blog.  That's right. SEVEN.

And SEVEN is apparently very angry with you!

You must really be sucking right now.

Really, you should know what you've done wrong.  If you don't know, then I'M not going to tell you!

......Okay, you convinced me.

FIRST, dear readers, you allowed me to ignore my blog!  For more than a WHOLE MONTH.  That's like infinity in the the blog world!

I just drew infinity for you.  I know.  It's mind boggling!
Basically, you all let me ignore you.  I didn't get any emails.....

Seriously, I couldn't make it any easier for you!
I didn't get any Requests.  I didn't get any shout outs from other blogs (except one or two from Sister, but I think we all know that she was just giving me a shout out so she wouldn't feel guilty about stealing my picture).  Apparently, none of you love me as much as I love you.

Thanks.  I feel really special.

And I used to think we were friends!

SECOND, I didn't get any awards in my absence.  What is wrong with you people?  There is no reason for not giving awards.....especially to me!  Really.....even a borrowed AWESOME medal would do.....
Image "borrowed" from Sister
Just saying.  I'm pretty awesome.  Also, I am disappointed in all of you, dear readers, because none of you have recognized my awesomeness with shiny round pieces of metal on colored ribbons and/or award badges that link back to your blog.  Hey, it's publicity for you, AND for me.

Actually, maybe I will make an award of my own.  Yeah.  And I won't give it to any of you.  So THERE! Maybe then you will know how I feel.

THIRD, Dear Readers, You have not been clicking on my ads.  I am saddened by this.  Not only can I not (legally) admonish you for this, but it also means I do not make money.  This is very sad.

......the upside of this for you is that I've decided to remove them......Earning 2 dollars over the course of three months is just not good enough to be worth having the ads.

Lucky you.

FOURTH, I have not received any presents.  Except from Chicken Maker.  He is awesome.  Just look at what he gave me!

Gritty Sharp Chicken
The rest of you are seriously lacking in your present-giving capacities.  I'm sure you can push through your present-giving drought, and start and maintain a steady present-giving stream of AWESOMENESS.

FIFTH,  You all missed my birthday.  Even after I let you guys all know what things make GREAT PRESENTS FOR GIRLS.  In case you are not sure what would have made an excellent present for me, here is a hint:

Everyone loves unicorns.  Even boys.  They just don't want to admit it.

SIXTH,  I told you all that I was going to be sparse to nonexistent for awhile, because of real life things demanding my time and attention.  This is why I asked if any of you were interested or willing to do a guest post for me.

I had no such luck.  There was one bite, but that ended up falling through.  I am ashamed of you all.  You could have used the opportunity to steal some of my readers or followers, publicize your blog, and try your own hand at MS Paint (or it's Apple equivalent).  Seriously, people, I was totally swamped with things to do!

Remember this drawing?  I wasn't kidding about this stuff!
Lucky for all of you, I have completed my resume, finished compiling my portfolio, found a job, completed the interview project, wrote the 10 page paper (and received an A, if anyone is wondering), and have had a successful start on my diet (16 pounds lost, 26 to go!).  I have also started working, taken my exams, finished the semester, scrounged together enough money to buy christmas presents for everyone in my really big family, and had my mom come to visit.

Oh yeah, and my roommate left, we moved things into his old room, making it into a reading/music room, rearranged the living room, bought some new furniture, celebrated my birthday, christmas, and new year's eve.....all this with school, work, and time spent with my dog, my fiance, and my friends as well.

I have been BUSY.

Shame on all of you for not relieving me of some stress, and taking on a bit of picture blogging on your own.

Just saying.  Could have used some help.

LAST, but not least,  I have not received any e-mails with questions.  This is sad because my FAQ has remained unchanged since the day I wrote it.

I am saddened by your lack of curiosity, Dear Readers.

Anyways, I am back, and blogging like a maniac once again!  But I will not keep up a daily posting schedule.  That is too much to do, what with school, and work, and cooking, and budgeting, and video games, and reading, and piano, and stuff..... Plus I'm not very good at staying focused.  Really.

But maybe that will get better now that I've officially been diagnosed with ADD, and been given medication to help address the problem.

I guess we'll find out together!

Also, we need to pool together and get some more followers, folks!  SISTER has more followers than me!  We need to change this!  Because apparently our blogging is a competition.  And it makes me feel good.


Seen and Said

P.S.  I'm just giving you guys a hard time.  I really do love and appreciate each and every one of you.  Especially those of you who take the time to let me know how much you did or didn't like my posts!

P.P.S.  Also, I completely redid my background, banner, and buttons.  I hope you all like it!  I think it's less overwhelming this way....and also less....caustically bright.


  1. Unfortunately, I was a non-entity during the glory days of your site. I didn't arrive on the scene until your absence.

    Is it weird that I feel guilty for not e-mailing, even though I was totally out of the know? I dunno, but now I feel compelled to make you a present.

    Welcome back!

  2. Cleary there was a huge misunderstanding on where the party zone needed to be placed.


  3. You can't just let me have more followers? You already have Chicken Maker's love and I don't!!!

  4. It's okay. You missed my birthday too. :P

  5. Ha, you missed my birthday too.
    And I, for one, can't wait to see what you put out next!
    No pressure.
    Well, actually, it sounds like you thrive on the pressure, so... pressure!
    Meri :)

  6. I am the winner, clearly.

  7. Hmm, I totes would have done a guest post had I read your post more carefully.. I think I have ADD too. :\

    I can do it now, though! I even use MS Paint sometimes. Word.

  8. I would've done all of those things you listed, but, um, I had..a...thing to do. Yes...a thing.

  9. First- I love that you said "caustically" (which I first wrote as "cautistically") because that just made the whole damn post.

    Second- I WILL SO A GUEST POST WITH YOOOOU! I will even draw a picture with me waving my hands above my head. Which will be really high, because I am tall. Like, super tall.

  10. I miss the caustically bright template actually :-(

  11. I've missed your internet face. I wanted that to sound nice and not creepy, but it really does sound creepy doesn't it.

    Darn. Well. I may as well leave your home now; the jig is up, my stalking is kaput.

  12. @Obscurity and a Competence - Thanks so much for your present! I will be proudly displaying it soon on my blog! Also, I know you missed when I was updating every day, but those entries are all still there for you to read at your leisure! =)

    @Chrispy - I couldn't agree more!

    @Christine - I will get more followers yet again! Bwahahaha! Also, I am working on a new look for my blog. This one just isn't right for me....It will be finished soon (hopefully today!)

    @Chrissy - HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I know it's late, but let's just pretend it isn't!

    @Meri - it will never work! Your pressure cannot cow me into obedience!....unless there are pictures. Picture presents are VERY inspiring!

    @kaloo - You are the winner, for sure. =)

    @Bi - You're still more than welcome to do a guest post for me! Just send one over to my e-mail (seenandsaid@gmail.com), and it will be up post-haste!

    @robotofthesky - I forgive you. "Things" can be very time consuming!

    @The Tall One - Thank you for noticing my superior grasp of English vocabulary! =) Also, go ahead and write up and send a guest post to me! I will happily post it here! ^_^ (seenandsaid@gmail.com)

    @Rachel - I have missed all of you sweet readers and commenters, and 20sbers too! Also, Beware entering my home! We have swords on the wall....and also a dog (but I think she's really a dinosaur!)