Tubesocks, Beware!

SO, I was considerably less than thorough when I updated about my summer... I will probably REMAIN less than thorough. Still, I can't (in good faith) completely leave out the visit from Celeste and Thom.

It ended up being a really nice visit. We ate out several times. We also talked a lot. They also insisted on buying a few things for around the house. And Tyler got some new polo's. They look great on him.... too bad he will probably wear them so infrequently that he'll forget he has them!

Nice clothes for Tyler have a way of entering the closet, never to return. I think that some sort of Laundry Monster must be responsible. The Laundry Monster is a cousin of the well-known Sock Monster that lives in dryers all over the world. The Sock Monster looks something like this:



Don't be fooled by his deceptively cute sock hands! He does not just devour socks. He doesn't just hide them. He...ASSIMILATES THEM!!!! Kind of like a stalker going through your trash, he collects socks that interest him (which, based on my experience, consists of exactly HALF of every pair of socks you own, and stows them away, never to be seen again, except during his late night reminiscing when he pulls out the fuzzy blue sock that used to be part of your favorite pair that you can't wear anymore because he has one of them, and fondly pets it, remembering your cozy dryer, and the lint that he created there for you to clean out of the lint trap.



Anyways, I'm SURE that a cousin of the Sock Monster is living in my closet, eating my boyfriends clothing. Or perhaps assimilating them. I don't know. I have yet to find or catch this beast. He behaves in mysterious ways. Sometimes he eats Tyler's clothes. Sometimes he just SHRINKS the clothes so they don't fit him any more. Most devious of all, he sometimes moves things around so that when I attempt to retrieve them, they fall on me! He is nefarious indeed! I need everyone's help to locate this fiend. Here is an rough sketch of what he may look like!



Note the opposable thumbs. I suspect he has hoarded every pair of mittens I have ever owned, and assimilated them to become his hands, hands that are capable of grabbing, twisting, plucking, and other equally dexterous tasks. Beware! They may be a laundry monster lurking in your closet too! I suspect that his weakness must be a professional organizer. When he encounters this, he has no choice but to disassemble, replacing all your lost goods in strange locations, and escape.

Alas, I can not afford a professional organizer. I'm hoping a can of Raid might be good enough....

That is all.