Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Things I Do in the Bathroom....But Probably Shouldn't.

Everyone has a few things they do that they know they really shouldn't.  I am one of those people.  There are LOTS of things I do that I shouldn't.  In fact, there are so many of them, that I am going to focus on just one place.  The bathroom. The water closet.  The toilet room.  The restroom.

Whether it be public or private, there are things I do in the bathroom that I really shouldn't do.  I'd bet money that you guys have a few things you do in the bathroom that you shouldn't do also.  Here are just a few of the stupid things I do.....but probably shouldn't.

1)   Eat - I know that the bathroom is germ-infested.  I know that it is coated with a fine spray of fecal matter.  But damnit, if I'm eating a jello cup, I'm not going to stop just because I am walking into the bathroom to retrieve some make up...or deodorant....or my cell phone, because sometimes I leave it in there.

2)   Talk on my cell phone - I'm not saying that this is a good thing.  Actually, this annoys the hell out of me when I see other people do it.  But I am not innocent of this crime.....Yeah.  Sometimes, I'm that annoying girl having a conversation while I'm peeing.  Get used to it.

3)   Play video games - I have a Nintendo DS lite.  It is AWESOME.  The upside is I have something to do when I'm waiting on something.  The downside is that this means I spend more time on the toilet than I need to....finishing up just one more puzzle on my game.

4)   Read - This is pretty much the same problem as the video games....except worse.  I can sit on a toilet for twenty minutes distracted in a video game.  I can sit on a toilet for an HOUR distracted by a book.  It is BAD NEWS, people.

5)   Skip washing my hands - This is the one that I am most ashamed of admitting.  Sometimes I don't wash my hands.  I'm lazy.....and busy..... and sometimes I just don't care enough to wash my hands after using the bathroom.  This doesn't happen often or anything.  But come on.  I bet you skip occasionally too!

6)   Pop pimples - I know you are not supposed to do this.  But I do.  I just can't help it.  They DEMAND to be popped.  They haunt me.  I just can't....ignore....them......

7)   Remove dirty clothes - This is only a problem because I leave them there, instead of placing them in a dirty clothes bin.  They go on the floor....in the bathroom.

8)   Put dirty clothes back on - I don't always get around to doing laundry when I need to....or....ever get around to it for that matter.  The result is that I sometimes spend fifteen minutes looking for clean clothes....and then settle on the cleanest smelling shirt I can find.

9)   Blog - Sometimes you go to the bathroom and it takes a long time to do your business....On the occasion that this is going to happen, and I know it is going to happen....I sometimes take my laptop with me....and check my email.  And watch youtube.  And blog.  I could be sitting on my toilet right now.  You don't know.....and I'm never telling. BWAHAHAHA.

10) Make Out - Sometimes, in the morning, after I get up , fiance will accost me in the bathroom with kisses and cuddles.  I know that bathrooms are "unsanitary," but that won't keep me from getting my make out on!!! Rawr!

So there you have it.  There are definitely more things I do, but I am keeping it down to 10....because it is a nice round number, and I don't want to do any more drawings than that.  Sorry for my absence lately, dear readers.  I've been busy.  And distracted.  Also, I am trying to apply for some jobs, so I have just had a bit less time than usual.

Also, I am sorry for the shortage of pictures, but I just don't have the energy for it tonight.  Maybe tomorrow.  I'm pretty sure the Lazy Monster has gotten hold of me again.  I will have to work extra hard to remove this one.


  1. I talk on the phone while sitting on the crapper. I quite enjoy interrupting my phone conversations with my friends to flush the toilet. I've never made out while on the throne though, and can't say that I've ever wanted to.

  2. Actually, although there is a sort of spray thing that happens from flushing the toilet with the lid open, the bacteria can't survive on the nonporous bathroom surfaces. So you're probably safe... from germs that is.

  3. This is pretty gross...if you're reading this comment while on the toilet, shame on you!

  4. 7 and 8 made my day! haha :)

  5. You actually eat in the bathroom? I think I'm going to throw up. And I bet you 100 dollars that you wrote this blog while you were sitting on the toilet. :)

  6. do you at least mute the phone when you flush?!