GUEST POST: Tall Does Not Equal Basketball

Today, I'm proud to bring you a guest post written especially for me by The Tall One, who is the author of love and heartness.  I hope you all enjoy it!

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If I had a nickel for every time someone asks, “Do you play basketball?” I would have been able to retire two years ago. It doesn’t help that I work with the public, so I get the question more often now.

I have a confession to make, and I can’t think of a better place to do it than on someone else’s blog. When I was 14, I tried out for the freshman girls basketball team. And I feel that Catherine and her wonderful readers will really appreciate the story behind it. Because I laugh every time I tell it.

It all started a few weeks before I started high school. I was feeling pretty confident in my basketball skills because I could get the ball into the hoop in my neighbors driveway. Obviously I was destined for greatness just from that.

The first day of try outs I went to the wrong gym. That should have been my first sign right there.

When I was finally in the right place, there were a few other girls I knew from elementary and middle school (I live in a small town) and was feeling really good. The coach was nice, the girls were cool, and HEY! I could actually keep up with them!

And then came the basketball part. I could hardly keep the ball in my hands and I had a zero percent chance of making any shots. Basically, I was awesome.

The second day of try-outs, the coach told the group that some of might just be considered “practice players” and not really play in the games. I knew that would be me, and I was really ok with it. I got to be a part of the team without totally embarrassing myself!

The third day of try-outs screwed me up. I caught a rebound and jammed my finger pretty hard. I had to get a little splint and everything. My under-developed mind was still really confident that I was going to make the team and be a school legend. My height would completely make up for my lack of actual skill.

After the third day, coach pulled me over and I thought she was going to tell me that I should go straight to varsity and practice play with them. Instead, her words sounded very wrong. Something about “lack of skill” and “really good try”. There may have even been a “maybe next year, after some practice”.

And just like that, I was cut from the basketball team. Three days into a five day try-out.

From time to time, the boy’s basketball coaches would stop me in the halls and ask why I wasn’t playing. And I was too embarrassed to admit I was awful, so I just told them I had to focus on school. Eventually I needed a new excuse, so I joined the cheerleading team.

Just kidding, it wasn’t for an excuse. I really did become a cheerleader. At one point, I was even co-captain for a year. Go me!

But the point of this story is that just because I’m tall does not mean I was destined to play basketball. I try to stay away from it more than anything, because I am more likely to get hurt than make any points.

My sister, on the other hand was a small town hero for her basketball skills. She’s probably still a hero for all her awesomeness on the court.

So instead of being engrossed in a sport, I was able to join the threatre department and really blossom. I should really thank her for taking the sports gene in the family; I’m sure it’s saved my poor parents from lots of hospital bills.

Sidenote: I just wanted to thank Catherine for being AWESOME and letting me do a guest post. She’s pretty ok in my book.

I am Bad at Sports - Four Square

I've talked about how I'm bad at kickball and bowling, but my inability to perform the most basic physical tasks extends beyond those two sports.  I'm also bad at four square, football, baseball, tennis, soccer, ice skating, running, biking, climbing, hiking, basketball, and more!  You name it, and I can pretty much guarantee that I suck at it!

Now, I know that this is a pretty outrageous claim, and that you all think I couldn't POSSIBLY be THAT bad at that many sports.  But you would be wrong.  I AM that bad.  Take four square, for instance!

When it became apparent that I was set on ruining everyone's chances at enjoying kickball, or when there weren't enough people to play kickball, the neighborhood kids would play four square.  This was fine by me because it was my FAVORITE game to play as a child.  I knew all the trick throws!

The cherry bomb, popcorn, lightning, baby bounce, and more.....but it didn't matter.  Because I never got to be King.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with four square, let me give you a brief explanation!  Players toss the ball to each other.  If you drop the ball or don't catch it, you are out, and move to either the back of the line of people waiting to play or to the bottom square.  Each of the four squares has a name and place in the four square heirarchy.

I spent most of my time switching between Loser Town and No Man's Land.  Whenever you got out, you moved back to loser town.  And everyone else moved counterclockwise around the square, filling your vacated position, and opening up Ace for you.

This is how I looked when I was in each position!

But of course....I almost never got to King.  My four square strategy involved a somewhat roundabout method of reaching the top.  If I could get up to queen, all I had to do was survive there until somebody else got the king out, or the king screwed up!  So I relentlessly attempted to get the queen and jack out, so I could take their place.

I think MOST people played this way, because the King made up all the rules.  And there were no limits on what those rules could be.  If this meant that the king declared that ONLY the king may use special throws, then that is the way it was.  You could actually aspire to get the queen out.  It was pretty much impossible to get the king out.

I would relentlessly pursue the queen, and pray for the king to screw up....but sadly....this was so rarely the case.  My time playing four square was more of a succession of getting hit in the face, chest, arms, legs, feet, and butt repeatedly.  I would try my hardest to get to king, but I can only remember it happening two or three times EVER.  My four square experience was spent moving between ace, jack, ace, and jack, etc, and it looked something like this....

.....It seems that my life is a never-ending sequence of getting hit with things....

I hope I get to be king again in the future.....cause that never happens. lol.

I am Bad at Sports - Kickball Edition

As I was saying yesterday, I am bad at bowling.... but that is only the tip of the iceberg.  Bowling is just the most recent thing in a long line of things I am really bad at.  I have a long, sad, and depressing history of sucking face at just about every physical activity I have ever pursued or attempted.

It all started when I was kid.  The neighborhood kids would play kickball outside, in the streets of the cul-de-sac where we lived.  I liked kick ball...probably because it was baseball without the small hard ball and the bat.  I liked being on the infield....but whenever it was my turn to kick the ball and run the bases, it went something like this....

 

And playing in the outfield went no better.   I was never a basemen, because I sucked too bad....so I was an outfielder, which is the most boring position ever.  When I was an outfielder it went something like this....

I couldn't help it.  Outfielder is BORING!!!! So I'd stand attentively......and then not so attentively....and then I would pay no attention whatsoever.  Might as well have been asleep.  Then the ball would skim past me, and the other team would get all their bases back home and my team would lose.

Needless to say, I was not popular when we decided to play kickball.....

Or any sport, really.  I might expand on my bad sportliness in the future....but for now, that is all. =)

I am Bad at Sports....

I had a fantastic weekend in Hutto with ALL four of my siblings.  We went bowling at a bowling lane/restaurant/bar.  It was awesome, except I suck at it.  It makes me sad a little because I've actually LEARNED how to bowl properly, but SISTER scores better than me....EVEN though she uses a lighter ball (by 2 pounds!), bowls on the wrong leg, and has no practice or training.

Fail.

Even the alcohol didn't help improve my chances.

.....and that is all for now.  I will do a super awesome post tomorrow.  Promise.