A Letter to Mark Burg

Dear Mark Burg,

What the heck is your problem?  Why would you ever spend that much money to produce the Saw movies?  They are torture porn.  Who the heck would want to watch torture porn?  Who the heck would want to produce it???  You are truly a strange human being.

As a result of your graphic, violent, malicious, sadistic films I find that I have trouble sleeping at night.  Shortly after seeing any of these films (that is to say, hiding in my room while Little Brother and Fiance watch them), I have trouble sleeping.  I think every little sound is something terrible.  My nights then go something like this...

And I spend all night moving between these three steps.  Settling into a restless light sleep, and then BAM.  There is some sort of creepy noise.  A car driving by, some jerk yelling at his drunk friends down the street, my roommate coming home.   A door creeking.  The house settling.  The floor groaning.

Then I can't do anything but curl up in a corner, going crazy.

Please, Mark Burg, do the world a favor, and create less horror, gore, and fear in the world.  Why can't you produce a few movies with happy fuzzy bunnies that like to paint rainbows or something?  I think that would make a much better film.

Also, if you INSIST on producing films that scare the pattootie out of me, I wish you would at least have the decency to make films that FAIL in the box office, instead of creating a bunch of box office hits.  This makes these torture pornography films impossible to avoid or ignore.

Mark Burg, I hate you forever.  Please go eat some candy, pet a unicorn, and look at the bright side of life.

Yours Truly,

Catherine

P.S. You even give my dog nightmares.  Congratulations. I hope you are happy.